Transparency

Transparency is vital to success in any marriage. Before the Fall, Adam and Eve were “naked and not ashamed”. They had nothing separating their relationship. But, the entrance of sin caused them to hide from God and from each other. Shame, fear, anxiety, guilt flooded their beings; we have inherited the vulnerability to those feelings as human beings ever since. Are you feeling any of those feelings or other negative feelings now? One of the best ways to deal with them is through sharing them with God and with your spouse. Light drives our darkness. By telling the truth, you are set free. Keep in mind that feelings in themselves are not right or wrong. It is what we do with the feelings that can be problematic.

Hiding behind our feelings for any reason separates us. Over time those emotions can grow in power and cause trouble. But, if we can TRUST each other and be TRANSPARENT, we can be real. That’s important because often we can be tempted to be who we are not because we fear rejection. We can say to ourselves, if he or she knew me, they would not love me. That belief motivates withdrawal into safety but it can isolate us. Over time, God’s Word tells us that it is not good to be alone.

To be fully known and fully accepted is the pathway to health. Always tell the truth to one another according to Ephesians 4. If you are troubled and your partner asks you how are you doing? Risk rejection, be vulnerable. We need to be able to tell each other that it is safe to share our feelings whatever they may be. If I truly believe that it is safe to let my spouse know me and love me, I can come out of hiding and find acceptance. The alternative is to remain in darkness. Take a look at John 3, notice that Jesus is calling us into the light. Be honest with God, confess, be real, tell the truth. If we fail to do that with God, we suffer for it. If we fail to do it in our marriage, it will cause pain. Bottom line, acceptance of one another’s feelings is how we are emotionally intimate in our marriages. Emotional intimacy is every bit as important as physical intimacy. Being One Flesh, being “naked and not ashamed” goes far deeper than our bodies, now we are talking about our souls.

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