How much genuine “love talk” happens in your marriage every day or every week. Let’s define “love talk” as the two of you sitting together talking to each other without any distractions.
The need for privacy in your communication on an emotional and conversational level is just as important as the need for privacy in your physical relationship. Talking about anything without social media, emails, text, tv or computers. Talking to one another without the children interrupting. The two of you and no others whatsoever. David Clarke recommends talking together like this 30 minutes twice per week. Willard Harley recommends more than that in his classic “His Needs, Her Needs”. How about 5-10 minutes per day? Whatever you come up with, please make your marriage relationship the top priority next to God. Speaking of God, how much time is going into that relationship? God and our spouse are our covenant partners. They should be ahead of all others including our children.
So what do you talk about? Anything, just make sure your partner knows what’s going on inside of you. What is your strongest feeling? What are you thinking about during your day? Is there anything you need to share that has been hidden out of fear? Intimacy comes through my spouse knowing all of me, nothing withheld, and me knowing all of her. We become one through revelation of what is in our heart and then acceptance by my spouse. When we are “naked and not ashamed” on a heart level, we are deeper, closer than the physical level. “Naked” means I’m not hiding behind anything.
I am revealing all of me to you, that’s a gift of love!
I cannot love you if I don’t know you. We can’t love God if we don’t know His revelation of Jesus Christ as Savior. So many go through the motions of religion and yet are far from God. We can do the same in our marriage, running and driving and chasing the things of this world. If we have no time for God or spouse, danger!
If you think you have shared it all and you need some help with starting a conversation, please try “Love Talk” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. Every day, they offer a great topic to motivate a healthy conversation about your marriage. Think about making “Love Talk” happen every day!
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.